


I Don't Dance

by digitalsoop



Category: Free!
Genre: F/M, Post Series, other characters make a brief appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-11
Updated: 2014-04-11
Packaged: 2018-01-18 23:19:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,759
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1446508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/digitalsoop/pseuds/digitalsoop
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gou has never enjoyed dancing, but lately she hasn't been enjoying much of anything. Burnt out after her first year of college and endless nights of studying she happily agrees to try and enjoy a night of fun with Chigusa. Of course, that was before she knew Makoto had been invited. </p><p>Cross posted on Tumblr. Commissioned by the_rogue_bitch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Don't Dance

**Author's Note:**

  * For [the_rogue_bitch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_rogue_bitch/gifts).



Gou twiddled a red pen between her fingers and stared at her calendar. For months she had dutifully—and sometimes absently—marked off the days until the end of her first year of college. Chigusa had decorated the day with stickers and drawings of flowers, sure that they would be throwing nothing short of a parade. The thick red line that cut through all the decorations only made her stomach churn and her roommate, Eika, was still sprawled across her bed and lightly snoring.

Their dorm had gone from carefully organized to typhoon aftermath in only a few short weeks. It had been enough to cause quite a few arguments and heated declarations that it would be cleaned up when there was time. At that moment there was plenty of time to carefully put away textbooks and clean up the piles of notes that had spread further and further from the desk, but she couldn’t even bring herself to put down her pen.

Somewhere in the mess was a schedule that had carefully regimented her every moment for the entire term. And it went no further than the end of the term. Packing up her things so she could go home for the summer was the next logical step. And then she would go home. And then she would unpack.

And then—

"What am I supposed to do?"

Eika snored. Someone in the room above stumbled out into the hall and let their door slam shut. The red pen clattered and bounced across text books and paper, tossed without much concern for where it would land.

There was no sense in waiting for an answer. Gou swept a few scattered belongings into her purse and followed the example of their upstairs neighbor, though she took care to close the door quietly behind her. Nothing was different; students roamed around with the same lack of urgency they had roamed with all year.

 If she hadn’t been so dedicated to her calendar she would have thought there were still classes she had to drag herself to, that there were still exams to study for and parties to miss. Though, she would have missed those parties even if she hadn’t been so dedicated to academics. Being surrounded by rowdy and drunk people she barely considered her friends didn’t strike her as fun. Eika had tried to encourage her to venture off campus and enjoy the city’s night life, and after only a few months Gou had run out of polite excuses for why she couldn’t go.

She really had no business being in a club. She didn’t even dance.

 But if there was anyone that had a chance of convincing her otherwise it was definitely Chigusa. The excited text messages had started flooding her phone almost immediately after she had set foot outside. Chigusa had already planned the entire night; when and where they would eat, when and where they would go out to drink, and how long they spend the night celebrating.

_"It’ll be like an Iwatobi reunion! I can’t wait to see you again!"_

_"I can’t wait either. I really missed you Hana-chan."_

***

Eika had been more than astounded that Gou had plans for the night, and had congratulated on that even more than she had for finishing her first year of college. She happily gave her advice on how best to spend her first night out; how to dress, what to bring, what to drink and how to order it. Though Gou had thought she wouldn’t heed much of her advice, it swirled through her head for most of the night, making her stomach churn even more. Maybe the advice was somewhat misguided, or maybe it just wasn’t meant for a person like her. She might forget it, and order the wrong drink, or in the wrong way.

Not even Chigusa’s smiling face could ease her tension. In fact it skyrocketed, especially when she was faced with many of her old classmates that were sharing all their experience in going out to party like this. No one talked about how hard they studied, or how exhausting it had been to keep up with their classes and clubs.

It struck her that maybe she had spent her first year of college in the completely wrong way, and the only thing she could feel grateful for was the fact that she wasn’t the only one that was red in the face. Even though she hadn’t touched a single drop of alcohol, everyone assumed she was just as drunk as the rest of them.

She and Chigusa spoke as well as they could over rowdy company and Karaoke. Her best friend happily commended her hard work, and admitted that she had wanted to take her school work just as seriously.

"I just got caught up with everyone else! Everyone said that it wasn’t important. I guess that’s true, you can get a good job as long as you do well in your clubs, and those are more fun."

Gou couldn’t muster a reply, so Chigusa continued. “By the way, I talked to your old swim club members, and they said they would meet up with us at the club we’re going to!”

Her alarm was immediate. “What do you mean? Who’s going?”

"I don’t remember, but you can check my phone."  

She didn’t know if her hands shook out of dread or excitement. Chigusa had messaged the four original members of the swim club; Haruka predictably had declined, saying he would see them when they came back to Iwatobi. Nagisa had accepted with enthusiasm, Rei with some trepidation, and Makoto—he had accepted with as much amiable excitement that could be expected of him.

His message she lingered over, reading the short reply with the same concentration she had studied with.

_"Of course I’ll go. I can’t wait to see you again it will be a lot of fun!"_

She didn’t know if You meant the whole group or just Chigusa, and though she did her best to remind herself that she had no right to feel any jealousy, she couldn’t help it. The last time she had spoken to Makoto she had just started her third year of high school. He had wished her luck for the school year.

With so little time to do anything else but study, she hadn’t thought about it that much. There wasn’t much to think about anyway; things had been awkward between them since her second year of high school, so the quiet falling out had been inevitable. It was a part of life that she had accepted and put behind her. Though, now that she was going to see him face to face, she wasn’t so sure.

She could only hope that they both stayed sober tonight, for the sake of their dignity.

"Hey, Hana-chan, have you and Makoto been talking a lot?"

"Huh? Sorry it’s so loud in here. Did you want to head to the club now?"

Gou had tried to repeat herself, but at the first mention of the club the group’s excitement grew, and she was quickly surrounded by a herd of drunken college students eager to get outside. The fresh air was so sudden and welcomed that she stood for a few moments and simply rubbed her ears, which were ringing.  

Maybe Chigusa could be talked into visiting a nice café instead. But looking up and down the sidewalk she realized that Chigusa had been swept away. If it had been anyone else, Gou would have just shrugged and gotten on the train home, but this was her best friend, a friend she hadn’t seen in months since they had been accepted into different schools. There was nothing else to do but stomp after the swarm at a safe distance, clutching her purse close.

There were a lot of colleges in Tokyo, but even without the influx of students there were always people out eating and drinking. She wasn’t necessarily scared, but she wasn’t stupid, and she paid attention when there were quick footsteps coming up behind her.

"Sorry, excuse me—um—"

She looked over her shoulder so quickly she might have given herself whiplash, stunned to find herself looking at a familiar face sooner than she had expected. “What are you doing here?”

Makoto was pleased to have caught up to her, and the rude question made him laugh and hunch his shoulders. He didn’t look much different than he had in high school; the same hair cut, the same soft eyes, the same smile that had won over more people than anyone could count; he still wore layers, and he still wore his clunky orange watch, and from just a quick glance she was sure he was still swimming.

The faint smell of chlorine certainly didn’t prove her wrong.

"Chigusa invited me—I didn’t think you’d be leaving Karaoke so soon." He gestured back towards the building the group had practically run away from. The muscles of his arms were better than she remembered.

"Oh, well, I don’t think any of them are really capable of keeping track of time right now. Um, it’s nice to see you again. You haven’t changed a bit."

"Really? Coming from you I’ll take that as a good thing." He crossed his arms and his eyes darted between her and the sidewalk. "You haven’t changed either. You look really great, Gou." 

Her blush was immediate but she did her best to laugh it off. “Thanks. I’ve changed a little bit though, you know. Um, I got taller and that kind of stuff.”

"Yeah, that kind of stuff," he laughed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Should we walk to the club together?"

It would have been incredibly rude to tell him no, and she really had no reason to refuse him. All it took was a nod and Makoto was immediately walking by her side. He looked up at the buildings, and Gou looked at the traffic, wondering how long they could go without looking at or speaking to each other.

"So," Makoto cleared his throat and she looked up at him a little quicker than she liked. "It’s been a long time, hasn’t it? I don’t think we’ve talked since—my third year."

She adjusted her purse and nodded. “Well, you did text me to wish me luck the first day of my third year.”

"But you didn’t reply." Makoto quickly raised his hands. "Not that I blame you I mean—I don’t blame you. I know that things were, uh—"

"Different."

"Different between us. Yeah."

Gou smiled, a tense smile that hunched her shoulders and squinted her eyes, and Makoto crossed his arms. “Let’s just focus on this Iwatobi reunion, okay? Nagisa and Rei are coming. It will be nice to see them.”

He muttered in agreement, and they spent the rest of the walk together in silence. Naturally it seemed to last longer than it actually did and there was palpable relief when they were outside the club. It was going to be loud and crowded but it would save her from anymore awkward conversations.

Because of his height it would never really be possible to lose Makoto in the crowd, but she was able to disappear and edge her way to a corner where she could safely watch everyone else. Whether her old classmates were dancing because they enjoyed it or because they’d had a lot to drink she wasn’t sure; Makoto did more talking than dancing, doing his best to keep up with Chigusa who was introducing him to people that probably wouldn’t remember him in the morning.

At that point the quiet café seemed to be a distant dream, and she was so caught up in imagining softer music and warm coffee that she didn’t notice Nagisa had snuck up on her until she was caught up in his excited embrace.

She couldn’t see much since she was practically smothered, but she could feel, and she couldn’t help but exclaim over his muscular arms. He was practically preening when he stepped back and flexed. “I was finally able to do it! But I’m still no competition for Makoto.”

Rei’s greeting was more subdued, though he was honestly happy to see her. Nagisa had grown while they were still in high school, but he hadn’t been able to catch up to Rei completely. “Next time we should get just the original club together—preferably where it’s a little quieter.”

She laughed and clasped her hands around his. “I’d like that a lot. I’d like that right now, actually!”

"Don’t be downers! Come on and dance!" Nagisa tugged at their wrists, and though Rei gave in easily Gou stood her ground.

"I don’t dance! I’ll be right here when you get tired."

Nagisa pursed his lips and narrowed his eyes, and Gou knew that though he left without a word of protest, he wouldn’t be gone for long.

Still the whole situation was fairly lonely. Watching the others dance wasn’t nearly as enjoyable as she had told herself it would be; watching Makoto dance was especially bothersome. He was no longer a teenager that wasn’t sure what to do about his height. He was happy to take up space where he normally would have crossed his arms and hunched his shoulders; he rolled his hips and raised his arms with as little care as could be afforded on a crowded dance floor, and Chigusa and Nagisa were right there with him. Even Rei, for all his calculation and obsession with precision, was being as carefree as he could.

She couldn’t remember a time when she had actually gone out of her way to dance, but there had been a time where she would have tried anyway; there had been a time where she didn’t avoid fun like the plague. Before she had become an over-organized, one-track-mind, uptight grind.

When did that happen? When did she get so serious about everything? When did her ability to keep things on schedule just take over her life and her personality?

"Gou?" Makoto smiled and put his hands on her shoulders when she nearly jumped out of her skin. "Sorry, I keep sneaking up on you."

She was stuck somewhere between a smile and a grimace, and though Makoto let go of her he leaned close so he could hear her speak over the music. “It’s alright, I was completely spacing out. Did Nagisa send you?”

"He asked if I had seen you yet, since he didn’t know we had walked here together. You looked a little upset so I came over to see if you were okay."

Gou tugged at her purse strap, taking great care to avoid looking at his face. She already knew that his brow was furrowed in concern, and that changed his whole expression into a rather effective pout. It was like trying to resist an upset puppy. “I think I’m just getting a headache, that’s all. I’m sure if I step outside for a minute I’ll feel better.”

He nodded and tugged at his shirt, and she caught that faint smell of chlorine again. “I’ll go with you, if that’s okay? I’m pretty warm.”

"Yeah, that’s okay. Why don’t you lead the way? You can see more than I can." She laughed, and Makoto smiled and let her grab onto the back of his shirt. With a combination of muscle and unfailing politeness they were able to maneuver through the crowd with more ease than she could have managed on her own.

Stepping outside she realized that Makoto was giggling and she couldn’t help but join him. Forming a two person train to escape the crowd—it was like being back in high school. She slowly let go of his shirt and he sighed and stretched. “The breeze is nice.”

"The quiet is nice, too." She hunched her shoulders when a car honked, and Makoto laughed. "Well, you know what I mean."

Then they fell into silence again, Gou staring at the traffic and Makoto up at the buildings, as if it was an old routine for them. And it was incredibly awkward. She already knew that starting a conversation wouldn’t exactly make things more comfortable either. But Makoto didn’t seem so sure, because he cleared his throat.

"How’s your head?"

"It feels better, thanks."

"Good." He put his hands on his hips and scuffed the sidewalk with the toe of his shoe. "So you don’t dance, huh?"

"Did Nagisa tell you that?"

"He might have mentioned it."

"It’s just not my thing. It seems to be yours though," she smiled and Makoto hunched his shoulders. "You can really dance."

"I’m not that great, really. You’d probably be better than I am." They both laughed and his shoulders relaxed. "You know, when Chigusa invited me I was a little surprised but then she mentioned you would be there—I wanted to apologize."

She pushed her ponytail over her shoulder, shifting her weight and doing her best to look confused. “Apologize?”

"For ruining our friendship," he was frank, holding up his hands as if he had laid the truth out in front of them. "That day at that meet—I shouldn’t have kissed you. And I was too afraid to apologize or even bring it up again but I should own up to it. I shouldn’t let things stay uncomfortable between us. I’m really sorry."

Gou stared at him, watching him shift uncomfortably and blush. “The kiss didn’t upset me.”

"Wha—what?"

"It didn’t upset me. I was flirting with you the whole time, why would you think I was upset?"

Then they fell into silence and stared at each other, completely baffled. Makoto was visibly searching for words; his lips parted and pursed, and he rubbed the back of his head and reached out as if he would find the words there.

"You know I’ve really had a taste for coffee," Gou ventured. "Let’s go get some."

"Yeah, okay, that sounds good." Makoto patted his hands against his pockets, muttering that he had enough money, and then they walked away from the club and the noise. He couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to be close to her or keep a polite distance, but Gou was just as puzzled.

She had spent nearly three years thinking that Makoto had regretted it; it had been a spur of the moment thing, a kiss that happened when they were alone and caught up in a victory, and Gou may as well have been knocked right off her feet. There hadn’t been romantic scenery or words, but because it was Makoto it was the most amazing kiss she could have imagined, and she had spent a lot of time imagining it.

If they had just talked, maybe she could have spent nearly three years as his girlfriend.

The nearest café was a bit crowded, but there were plenty of vending machines in Tokyo and they had both lived with canned coffee long enough to consider it a very suitable replacement. With their coffees in hand they continued walking, Gou contemplative, and Makoto tense and embarrassed. He spent more time tapping the top of his can than he did actually drinking from it, and it took a polite suggestion that they find somewhere to sit to make him stop.

"Ah, we got kind of far from the club huh? All the parks are closed, too. Well—" he continued to talk through all the possibilities and look above the crowds for any sign of a bench or low wall. "Ah, this place is pretty empty."

Gou was barely able to look for the place before Makoto grabbed her wrist and jogged her across the street; there was a tiny restaurant there, the kind of place that served cheap food and managed to stay afloat because they had enough loyal customers that stopped by for lunch, or loitered there during odd hours of the day. But it was clean, and they were allowed to bring in their canned coffee after promising they would order something.

Gou settled down at the table, setting her purse next to her. “I like the music.”

"Yeah it’s relaxing." Makoto looked at her for a moment then began tapping his can. "Gou. Dance with me."

"What?" She grabbed his wrist trying to stop him from standing up from the table. "We’re in a restaurant, and I don’t dance anyway. Sit back down!"

He smiled and easily pulled her to her feet, holding her hands in his. “We’re the only ones in here—they’ll just think we’re a little drunk it’s fine.” 

"But—" she glanced around but couldn’t see much past Makoto, who had put a hand on her back and started to sway from side to side. "Really, this is embarrassing."

"I’ve done more embarrassing things," he muttered, looking sheepish, "that day at the meet being one of them." 

Gou frowned and swayed with him, letting him lead her in a slow turn. “It was a dumb misunderstanding.”

There was no telling what the employees of the restaurant were doing; all she could see was Makoto’s chest, and when she looked up there was only Makoto’s face. He smiled and lifted her arm above her head and she obediently giggled and spun. He pulled her back into that gentle rocking, sway, but couldn’t look her in the eye.

"What a waste of three years," he sighed. 

"I was thinking the same thing." She raised her eyebrows at his attempts at a waltz. "Maybe we should make up for it."

"Funny, I was thinking that, too." He smiled and did his best to look contemplative. "I guess we should date."

"I guess so."

"We can go dancing."

"Well I don’t know about that."

"You’re good at it." His sway slowed and he let go of her hand to touch her neck. "You look beautiful no matter what you do."

Gou’s blush was so deep she felt faint, and when the waitress cleared her throat she quickly pulled away from him and sat down, hiding her face behind the menu. Makoto floundered, then decided it was best to join her and stiffly ordered a chocolate cream roll.

He smiled when Gou peeked over the top of her menu. “Consider it my first apology as your boyfriend.”

The menus were taken away and there was nothing else to do but hide her face behind her hands. “I don’t know if I can handle such an embarrassing boyfriend."

**Author's Note:**

> the_rogue_bitch gave me a great prompt which made it much more enjoyable to try something new like this. She even provided some of the lines in the story herself! They were so good it didn't feel right to let them go unread. 
> 
> Commissions are open! Just drop a line here, on my tumblr (digitalsoop), or email misosoop@yahoo. $5 for 500 words minimum. :)


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